You’re a good mama.
Don’t let yourself think anything different. We are our own worst critics, but I am here to tell you that you are a good mama. Most days that is the only thing we want to hear. It gives us a burst of energy and confidence that no espresso shot can, and we press on with such joy when we simply hear “you’re a good mama”.
There have been random occasions that I have had a stranger tell me this simply because they were observing my interactions with my baby boy while we were in public, and there have been occasions where I have heard it from a family member who knows us on a more intimate level. Either way, hearing the words “you’re a good mama” from someone can turn any bad day into the best day.
Some of us may hear it often, and some of us not often enough. Either way, I’m telling you…
you’re a good mama.
{Receive it. Believe it. Own it. Enjoy it.}
I think it is harder to be a mom in today’s world between the Pinterest boards, photo shoots, Instragram posts and one million different new baby trends. I can’t keep up. I want it to be simple because it should be. When it’s simple I have confidence in what I’m doing, but slowly the comparison tries to creep back in and I am once again left feeling inadequate for the job.
Just the other day I saw at least five different articles shared or pinned that talked about how important it is to read with your baby, and all I could think about was how bad of a mom I must be because I hardly ever read to my son. We have gone through phases of reading a bedtime story, but they have been just that…phases. Have you tried to read with a high energy 8 month old boy? Impossible. Plus, I’m not a huge reader myself. Now, we spend hours upon hours making funny faces, singing, dancing and things of that sort, but for some reason I got stuck on this whole “I must read to my child every day” concept. So, I grabbed some books and I sat my son in my lap for story time and all he wanted to do was turn around and grab my face and be silly with me so we went back to doing what we do best. Reading time fail.
Attempting to keep up with the “experts” and latest motherhood crazes on social media is exhausting and stressful, but before we know it we can get trapped in the cycle of comparison and attempting to keep up even when we were trying to avoid it. I can honestly say that the hardest part of my motherhood journey has been the times I have found myself trying to make my definition of motherhood something it wasn’t.
My definition of motherhood is messy, unorganized, fun, crazy, mismatched, crusty, stinky, snotty, warm, comfortable, clingy, loud, random, and much more.
I think women have individual Pinterest boards dedicated to avoiding most of the words that I consider bliss in my motherhood journey.
The more that I own the type of mother I am, and disregard the unwanted advice of others, the more content I am.
In the meantime, I have learned to lie to most people about what my son does and doesn’t do. Does he sleep well? Always. 12+ hours every single night of the year. Hows your breast milk supply? Flowing like Niagara Falls. Does he cry a lot? Never. Not once actually. Not even when they poke him with 10 different needles at the doctor. Does he have a bedtime routine? Yes. When it’s time for bed he reads himself a book, tucks himself in and even sets his own alarm clock so that he can get up and get himself ready for the day. He needs zero assistance from me to go to sleep. Does he sleep in his crib every night? Yes. He actually refuses to even come near our bed. He told us that he likes to “have his space” when it’s time to relax.
Lies. Lies. Lies. It keeps most unwanted opinions away though! Key word: most. Some people will give you their opinion no matter what.
You’re a good mama.
Let that sink in…..
You’re doing a great job even though you think you may be failing because it looks much different for you than it does for your friends. Comparing will leave you exhausted. I. PROMISE. YOU.
So what if breastfeeding didn’t work out? You are blessed with a baby that is thriving.
So what if your baby sleeps with you rather than in his crib? If I had to choose I’d pick the big comfy bed with the rest of my family as well so I don’t blame him or you for wanting to snuggle.
So what if your body looks different? You grew a human! Start reflecting on how amazing that is, and how blessed you are instead of how your body looks. Some women would give anything to have what you have.
So what if you don’t make your own baby food? Babies put everything in their mouths, including dog food, so it’s not the end of the world if they down a little store bought food here and there. I’m sure they have ingested worse off of the floor somewhere!
So what if your house is a complete disaster? You have a child(ren) living there!
So what if you didn’t do a fancy photo shoot for every monthly milestone? You have priceless home video and candid shots that no photographer could recreate.
So what if your nursery isn’t Pinterest worthy? Your baby is going to decorate it one day with a marker drawing or muddy hand print….or worse!
So what if your baby’s 1st birthday party didn’t have a theme? He isn’t going to remember it anyway!
Mama, you’re doing a great job, but I just have one little suggestion. Stop with all the fluff and just enjoy your baby and those precious moments that are fleeting faster than a hot knife through butter!!!
Enjoy it!
Simply soak in your children each day. Forget about everything else. When you are old and grey you aren’t going to sit and reminiscence about your baby’s perfect outfit on a random Monday, but about the way he smiled at you that morning. You aren’t going to sit and talk about that perfectly posed picture, but about the candid one of him covered from head to toe in food. You aren’t going to remember how clean you kept your baseboards, but you’ll remember your child’s favorite game to play with you in the afternoon after a long day at work.
You’re a good mama. Whatever motherhood looks like for you embrace it. I guarantee your child thinks you are the World’s Best Mom, and that no other mother even comes close to you.
You’re a good mama. Tell yourself that over and over until you believe it. Speak those words over other mothers you know.
Like ducks, we are all trying to appear to be gracefully floating around on the surface, but secretly we are all kicking as fast as we can underneath just to stay above the water. Let your reality show. Let it encourage other mothers to embrace their reality too. Motherhood isn’t meant to be polished and perfect. It’s meant to be raw and authentic.
Thank you to everyone (most notably my husband who sees every angle of my journey) who has ever told me that I am a good mama. Your words have given me more energy and confidence than you know.
I’m a good mama, and so are you.
Love in the Home
If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everthing in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper–not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness–not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh. Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive. Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens salvation’s message to a child’s heart.
Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God’s perfection of my child. As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
{Author Unknown}
