After working so hard for so long to get to the place that I wanted to be, I expected to feel super duper great. I didn’t. Not at first anyway.
The problem was that my brain hadn’t caught up with the scales. I had spent so many years hiding my wobbly bits with clothes, posing at a certain angle in photos so my chins wouldn’t show and generally not wanting to be seen in the buff, that I had managed to convince myself that I was a ‘fat girl’. And in my mind, even at 10st and a size 10, I was still that fat girl who felt the need to hide.
My husband bought me a new coat for Christmas. He bought it in a size 10. That coat sat in its delivery packet for about 3 days before I could get up the courage to open it and try it on. I would have been mortifyingly embarrassed to have to say that it didn’t fit.
But it did fit. As did all the other items that I bought for my new look. They were all a bit of a gamble, as I can’t do dressing rooms. Have you ever tried to fit a buggy in one of those??
Slowly but surely my brain started to catch up.
I went to a party just before Christmas. The only person that I really knew there was the hostess, so normally that would have been a definite no no for me. But I decided at the very last minute to go. It took me forever to decide what to wear. As I hardly ever go out, dressy clothes were not high on my list of items to buy. I decided on a pretty vest top and jeans. When I got there it took me ages to take off my coat (reminiscent of the old days) but when I did the hostess couldn’t believe how much weight I had lost. I felt a wee bit embarrassed as all eyes suddenly turned to me, but mostly it made me feel great.
For the first time I realized that I was thin.
So what I guess I am trying to say is that your mindset towards the whole thing is just as important as the weight loss itself. Remember that you are beautiful at any weight, and all you are trying to do is enhance that beauty…
Leah xx
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