Oh … can you imagine? I dream of it … lust after it … crave it, even … but it’s nowhere in sight … not even hiding around the corner … it has gone … deserted me … definitely left me for someone else … and I don’t blame it really … I used to hate being bored … hours upon hours of boredom … wanting to fill it with anything other than boredom … but now … a whole different bloody story … I went and had three children … boredom certainly did a pronto disappearing act … it was never going to hang around for much longer after so much rejection was it?
I admit, I wouldn’t want boredom for long (oh OK maybe I would but I’d sound ridiculously dull if I admitted that) … I’d probably get bored of it (again let’s not dwell on this for too long because I can feel I’m close to changing my mind) … but just to have some time to actually think about what I’d like to do … actually … damn it …. just some time to think would be good … don’t care what it’s about … just free, careless, mindless thought … to actually be able to finish a thought process … whilst twiddling my thumbs, perhaps … if I felt the need to do so … I could even close my eyes whilst having a thought, finishing the process and twiddle my thumbs all at the same time … whilst feeling bored …
Oo … I could even have a glass of wine … or two … oh sod it … the bottle … that would keep my thumbs from twiddling … if they wanted to stop that is … they could do what they want in this state of boredness … I wouldn’t care … absolutely. nothing. else. to. do!
I could read … once my mind had finished thinking and had perhaps got bored of thinking … oh my word … can you imagine? All that boredom hanging around you, creeping into every part of your being … sublime … chilled … wow I’m hypnotising myself into a state of believing this could actually happen … I think I’ll just keep writing …
… Oh but I can’t … there’s the doorbell with one of the three children arriving back home and the three dogs yap yap yapping to tell me they’re home just in case I didn’t hear the very loud doorbell that they rang 15 times as they forgot their key …
… Oh and there’s the washing machine beeping at me for the 100th bloody time to tell me it’s finished washing – oh well done you washing machine but I heard you the first time, funnily enough … your piercing loud alarm sound penetrating through every word I’ve been trying to write for the last half hour … and … of course … no one else in the house hears you and thinks to turn you off … don’t be so ridiculous … in fact, I think you’ve been wired so that I am the only one to hear you …
… Oh and there’s the dulcet tones of my three gorgeous children announcing that they are hungry and is dinner nearly ready? Nearly bloody ready? Really? Can’t anyone else cook dinner for once? Of course it’s not ready … I’ve been trying to be beautifully, deliciously, gorgeously bored … just saying!
