“How do I know he’s not drinking right now…how do I know the kids are going to be safe.” This is a sentiment Dr. Morgan Cutlip, relationship expert, hears from couples all the time when they are navigating rebuilding trust in a relationship.
This struggle is common for many relationships dealing with alcohol abuse as there is often a history of repeated lying or sneaking around to maintain an addiction.
So, how is trust rebuilt? Dr. Cutlip says there are two critical components of rebuilding trust: transparency and investing and testing of trust.
“Transparency means being truthful about indiscretions of the past and potentially some changes in privacy moving forward. Transparency demonstrates that there’s nothing to hide, that changes are being made, and that it is safe to rebuild trust once again.”
Your significant other must then invest some trust back in the relationship and see what you do with it.
This can be difficult if trust has been betrayed in the past but is essential to move a relationship forward.
Dr. Cutlip shared three tools that can help you or your loved one on the path to recovery.
“These tools are empowering to both the participant and their loved ones. They let them know that recovery is on track, that things are getting better, that it is safe to invest some trust in their loved one, and that the participant is willing to be transparent and is dedicated to their sobriety.”
This app is jam-packed with resources to support your or your partner’s sobriety. There are podcasts, an AA meeting locator, testimonials, and a calculator to track sobriety. This app can minimize barriers to locating meetings and provide tons of educational content to support the recovery process.
Soberlink is a portable breathalyzer and recovery management tool that uses facial recognition technology to confirm the identity of the user during each breath test. Blood alcohol content results are then wirelessly transmitted in real-time to Soberlink’s cloud-based recovery management software. Users are able to customize who receives the results of each breath test—the family, partner, medical professionals, or the recovery circle. Soberlink provides tangible proof to loved ones in the recovery circle and allows them to invest trust and get real-time feedback on how their loved one is doing with their recovery. It offers peace of mind, which is priceless.
Sober Grid is a free app that helps people in recovery access support directly from their smartphones. It allows users to connect with a sober community locally and globally, set recovery goals, receive regular inspiration and encouragement, and provides a mechanism for reaching out for help when they need it.
Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash
