We as mothers can be very hard on ourselves at times. We have the tendency to compare ourselves to others parenting styles. We wonder if how were raising our child is right. Should they be eating different, or going to bed earlier? Because after all, Susie from Gymboree puts her kids to bed at 7pm every night. She only feeds her kids organic food and farm raised. Not knowingly, we look for validation from other people at times on this journey called Motherhood. Some of us wonder if we are being a good enough mom. Some of us are wondering if this mom thing is for us at all. Let’s be honest, it’s hard at times. We having to keep going off no sleep and even when were sick. We do a never ending job that no one notices, until we stop doing it. We are responsible for the way this child will turn out. Oh, the pressure!
Looking at how other moms before us did it, is perfectly fine. The problem begins when you look towards those mothers for validation. The bigger problem is when other people believe they have the right to validate what makes you a mom. I have heard so many people spew out the most ridiculous reason as to why a mom, isn’t an official mom. Or why they aren’t a real mom.
My first thing that grinds my gears is about moms who have had Cesareans (C-Sections). People honestly believe that if you have had a C-section you are not a real mother. Let me tell you all this! I, myself has had three C-sections. If I’m not these kids mothers, hell who is? Who do I talk to about my compensation? Somebody owes me $365,542.28, a new stomach, 7 years of missed sleep and a new couch. Damn it, I want it all back now! Where does that leave women who have adopted? Women who are stepmothers or had surrogates? It takes more than pushing a baby out your lady parts to make you a mother.
Secondly, how you felt about being pregnant or how you feel about the everyday life of being a mom does not determine if you are a real mom. I hated being pregnant. I think it’s horrible. I felt horrible, and was always sick. I saw the wonderful cowards of the internet tear Kim k apart when she said she doesn’t like to be pregnant. I’m going to hope that she just gets on their nerves so much (as well as mines) that they truly didn’t mean the things they said. These moms believe that since you don’t enjoy throwing up, swollen feet and acne. Or you don’t enjoy peeing every 15 min, or the hemorrhoids that some women get. You are a horrible mother. You aren’t a real mother, and don’t love your babies. I would just like to say to those moms, you’re stupid!
Lastly, for the moms who are having a little bit harder time getting with this everyday life of being a mom. Or, it seems stressful for you and overwhelming at times. That’s fine, like I said before, it’s hard at times. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel, just because they don’t feel that way. If you have a glass a wine every night to cope, do you. If you take off for the front door once your mate comes home, do you. If you are the mother who is at perfect peace and full of zin, do you. We all handle things in our own way. So the next time someone comes with their opinions of motherhood and how you should be. Tell them I take care of my kids, I love them with everything in me. Your approval and judgement is not needed and they can take their validation to the nearest parking garage.
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