Working in corporate back in the day, I remember being friendly with a few working moms, something that seemed to me at the time to be a totally foreign concept.
I was in my 20s, totally (blissfully?) unaware of the challenges one goes through while they’re working a full-time job and have children. Now that I think about it, I remember these women being completely awesome and effective, but mostly, they were dang efficient.
Of course now I see they had to be because they had to get the heck out of dodge and back to their kids. I didn’t give it a thought of course, because as I mentioned, I had my head completely up my narcissistic 20’s existence ass (pardon my french).
But one bit of advice one of these efficient fabulous moms gave me (that of course I did NOT heed) was:
To have my babies and then come right back to work
At the time, I just gave her that look that you give harmless, but kinda crazy-looking people that try to talk to you in lines and crowded subways, and tell you something completely unrelated to anything remotely in your realm of consciousness.
….like Oh, ok, sounds good, thaaaaaanks. (polite smile, nodding…) uhuh.
I was clueless. Obviously. Now, (why is this always the way?) what is pretty obvious to me now is what in the heck she was talking about.
Once I stayed home after my son was born, what started for me (and what I didn’t realize what was happening) was a long, slow deterioration of my confidence.
Years later I would sit dumbfounded in front of a resume that I didn’t recognize, with the idea of an interview making me want to puke, this wise mom’s advice came crashing down on my head.
Who was I NOW? What was I good at? What am I even qualified to do anymore? What do I even enjoy doing at this point? Identity not totally lost, but more totally altered.
Everything had changed.
I’d read the descriptions of these jobs that seemed to line up with my background, but felt worlds away, with technical jargon, certifications, degrees and concepts that were clearly NOT on my resume. Could I reinvent? Could I finally live my dream of having my own biz? It was all so disempowering and depressing. I just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend it all wasn’t happening. UGH
Given all that unpleasantness, and what unfolded over the years since my opting out, it took a bit to get my confidence back… to feel like, YES DAMMIT, I offer value, I can do amazing things – even if I couldn’t remember, or should i say, identify what those things even were…
That said, here are 7 steps you can do/ponder to turn your Mojo back on, REMEMBER how fabulous you are, what you love, so you can move forward and grab onto the life you really want, the life you are totally fired up about! Yes, it’s there… just keep reading.
1. Just Notice
This is the awareness phase, don’t sit down and try to force your passions out of you or try to identify exactly what they are. It won’t happen. You’ll get all overwhelmed and want to puke (or run away). Don’t do that. Just go about your day and notice the little things that make you smile, get you excited, that you look forward to, that you appreciate, that you are attracted to, that you ARE GOOD AT, that people ask you to do, that people say you’re good at, that you could talk about all day, that you get lost in, that you love to do, etc. Notice the FEELINGS you get.
2. Write it Down
After all this great noticing and being present/aware… start the free flow… or it can be a list. Yes, I love lists too. Write down all the things that you have been noticing over the last few days that you were digging a lot. Try to write it down at the end of every day for a few days.
3. What’s Missing?
After you read over all this fabulous stuff you’ve been noticing, now take stock of things that are NOT on this brain dump of awareness, but are things that you find yourself still thinking about. a lot. For example, you’ve done your noticing from step 1, but see that working with teams or planning events is nowhere to be found on your awareness list, but it’s something you really love to do. Put that on another page of things that you notice aren’t anywhere (or barely) in your life….
At this point, try to bring it all together to see if there are any patterns you can see, and do another free flow where you write down some potential careers/business ideas you get from reading over all of these ideas. Just let things float to your mind, don’t censor yourself and don’t limit yourself with the “hows”. Just let yourself dream about the possibilities and pretend you have all the resources you need to make it happen.
5. Give Yourself Permission
No guilt here. You can do this! If you’re having feelings of wanting to do “something” but you just don’t know what it is, there is a higher power at work nudging you in the direction of your dreams. Trust yourself and listen to where your gut is telling you to go.
6. Take the Baby Steps
I love the advice that you’ll be in the same place in x months/years anyway, so why not get there and be able to look back at all you’ve accomplished since you made a DECISION and just STARTED- the time’s going to pass anyway, right!?
Take out another paper and list just the next 5 steps you could take to explore the things from your brainstorm list. Whether it’s call someone who’s in the field you want to get into, or do research on programs you can take, set up a lunch, etc. Every little step will get you closer to realizing the big “crazy” thing you can’t get out of your brain.
7. Don’t Panic
Trust yourself that you started on this path for a reason. You noticed, you decided, you took action. Go you! Know that you are right where you are meant to be and that you are valuable beyond measure.
How do you get your mojo back these days?? Love to hear from you…
To your life on purpose,
PS. Come join me on the blog for more guidance and focus to get the life you truly desire to live full on, on fire! www.nextlifeventures.com