Disclaimer: I suffer from occasional (ahem! more like daily) bouts of sarcasm. This post is written in that vein. Please don’t read this if you don’t like a dash of irony in your reading material or if you are Sheldon Cooper. This post is meant to be funny and is intended to be taken as such. Carry on!
Parenting is not a lawless jungle (though it may seem like one, most of the times!). There are rules and regulations that guide the parenting universe, making the crazy everyday situations a mere byproduct of these laws and not some maddening deviations to those rules.
This does not mean that the laws are benevolent in nature and the parenting universe, an all-encompassing utopia. Every parent out there is very much aware of the dictatorial nature of their ruling forces (Read, the kids). But if I have to be totally unbiased here, I have to admit that these laws and bylaws are very much-needed to level the playing field, considering that in absence of these rules, the current rulers would get delegated to an underdog status and the parents would end up becoming their dictators. So yeah, rules..good. Absence of them…not so much!
But I am going off in a tangent here. Let me get straight back to the point. If you are a parent and if you have asked yourself “Why? Oh why?” in the last 24 hours (Chances are that you have…multiple times!), this post is to enlighten you and to remind you that the laws of parenting are very real and your world revolves around them. Though it will not make your oppressed status a better one, but it will definitely give you a better perspective, so that you can adjust your expectations accordingly.
So, without wasting further bandwidth on prologue, here are the 11 Parenting Laws That Every Parent Should Know (not in any particular order of precedence) and a few suggestions how to work around them without breaking bad:
1. Parenting Law of Mom Showers
Law: The moment a mom, the only resident adult of the house at that point, enters the bathroom for a quick (is there any other way?) shower, one or many of the following things will happen [tweetthis]The moment a #mom enters the bathroom, the #kid will need to poop!..And other such crazy laws[/tweetthis]:
- The kid will need to pee or poop (red alert!) right that very moment
- The doorbell will ring (and keep on ringing) sending the kid into a frenzy “Who’s at the door for me?”
- The phone will ring (and keep on ringing) sending the kid into a frenzy “Who’s calling me?” (Yes, it’s for you, you egomaniac!)
- Suddenly, there will be too much suspicious silence (scary!)
- The iPAD will run out of battery or the TV will go to commercial and instant wailing will ensue from the kid
- Take a shower when the kid is sleeping or better yet, when he is at school and when you can safely ignore the ringing doorbell and phone without any repercussions
- Take a shower when another adult is present inside the house
- Skip showering altogether…till the kid goes off to college 😉
…Continue Reading The Remaining 10 Parenting Laws at FertileBrains.