They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can put yourself through, well whoever said that had clearly never gone through a divorce. Separating and divorcing your partner takes its toll both mentally and physically. What already feels like an uphill struggle is made worse by the presence of lawyers, overbearing family members, flying accusations, regret and emotional pain.
Much like any other traumatic life event, such as the death of a loved one or a bad birthing experience – for information on birth injury types, click the link – getting a divorce is an event that stays with you. However, it’s how you look after yourself during the process that can make the difference between looking back on this period with anger and resentment or viewing it as the starting block for the new chapter of your life. Keeping positive is easier said than done, which is why we’ve come up with 4 ways to look after yourself whilst going through a divorce.
Focus on the basics
When you’re getting a divorce it can feel like everything else in your life takes a backseat. It’s difficult to prioritize and your thoughts are probably on nothing else. It’s because of this that you need to focus on the basics of self-care, and by that we mean getting enough sleep and eating regularly. You’re going through a huge emotional upheaval and it’s going to be stressful, so to be prepared for this emotional onslaught, you need to have energy and be in control. Rest and eat well.
Get the support you need
It’s tempting to listen to that little voice that says you can deal with this all by yourself. But you must never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Believe it or not, you probably have a large network of family, friends and even work colleagues who want to support and help you through this difficult time of your life. You can ask your friends to help you in all kinds of ways, from just being there to listening to you vent, being a shoulder to cry on, or someone to take you out for lunch and make you feel like you again. Communication is key here, so let your friends know that you looking for support and kindness. They’ll love to help.
Give yourself a break
From fledgling relationships in our teens to decades of marriage in our adult years, it doesn’t matter how long the relationship lasted, if it broke down we always blame ourselves. However this kind of self-loathing isn’t helpful or healthy. Practicing self-compassion will certainly boost your mental health. Try meditation, respect yourself and what you’ve been through, treat yourself to something you love and enjoy doing, and be kind to yourself.
Focus on the bigger picture
Divorce is all consuming and seemingly takes over your life. But you need to remember, that it won’t be like this forever. Start to look forward to your future, make plans and tell yourself every day that the bigger picture is worth more time and effort than your divorce.
Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash