Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Sometimes you just want to buy nice things to wear or for the house etc. But when I see something I really want to buy, I remember that we just can’t have nice things. I cannot tell you the amount of times I say, “And that’s why we can’t have nice things!” It’s like we are cursed. SOMETHING always happens and it’s not the little things, its NUCLEAR things. How do people do it with 12 cats and toddlers with juice boxes and dirt? Lots of dirt? How do they keep those white couches clean? How do they keep their sanity and not worry that something will break or vomit will stain that new bedcover? (Or wine)? I mean here are just a few reasons why we can’t have nice things:

1. The Dog. We got a black lab as a puppy. He literally ate a set of French doors. The glass fell right out of them. Now that he’s older he finds spots in our carpet to dig through until he hits the subfloor. Now we just strategically place furniture and throw rugs to cover the holes.
2. Thing 2’s Truck. We bought our oldest an older model jacked up truck for his first vehicle. Less than 6 months in he decided to take up ‘Muddin’ as a hobby. Nearly drowned his truck in mud and the truck died. After shelling out a gazillion dollars to fix it, we discovered the air conditioner no longer works. Bless his heart. It’s going to be a long, hot summer.
3. Office chairs. In our home office we have replaced the office chairs about 39 times. The men in my house think that leaning back into a sleeping position in an office chair is a perfectly good purpose for it. Oh and spinning the chair at 105 miles an hour is fantastic fun. We have gone through so many chairs.
4. Surgeries. Vacations are rare in our family. We tend to spend our hard earned cash on surgeries from sport injuries. 1 ankle, 2 knees and a hip surgery. All on the kids! Maybe if we sold all the crutches, canes and support boots we could have a nice vacation but I’m afraid we’ll end up needing them all again.
5. Phone Data. Lastly, our phone data plan is another reason we can’t have nice things. We each get 3gigs of data in our phone plan. The plan costs the same as a new car payment (Thing 2 will never get a car because he goes over his data every month). All phone plans are a scam. Every time we upgrade we can’t wait to see the new creative ways they plan to screw us. ‘Friends and Framly’ plan? It even sounds stupid. Yet we need the damn phones.

So those are just a few reasons we can’t have nice things. But when the dog dies, kids move out and get jobs, I’m sure we will have a
whole new list. Anybody else?