Help! I’m drowning in a digital sea of information! I went on to Google, looking for something specific – advice specific to people in Texas starting up businesses. I was shocked that no such thing exists. But, I was instead inundated by website after website of lists: lists of best websites for female entrepreneurs, lists of marketing apps to reach 12 year old in Indonesia, lists of determining sales projections from your neighbor’s shoe size, etc. The lists just went on and on.
Finally, I gave into the pressure of my sometimes-blinking monitor, as though it was trying to hypnotize me into submission or possibly cause a seizure. I clicked only to find something new to click on. And, then there I was flung amongst the cold walls of a cavernous tunnel of information. I sunk deeper and deeper. I was tossed to the .com and then .info and then .net and .org and possibly an .edu. The tails of the web addressed shifted and morphed until suddenly with a giant halt I sat at a page, which loudly proclaimed 404 ERROR.
The ride finally ended. My internet whiplash was already painful, but I had yet to find out the information I needed. So, again, I started with Google.
Minutes became hours which became days. My Dr. Pepper went flat long ago and I’m fairly certain the mouse is permanently attached to my hand. My head twitches slightly with each flicker of the slowly dying screen. I must… I must… find information.
But, now, I forget just how this got started. I know the capital of Uzbekistan and the population of Malawi. I know every joke ever posted on facebook about the you’re/your issues that seem to engulf the entire world population. I know how to start a tumblr account, but still have no idea what use it is to me. I know how to come up with my “superhero name” using the color of my shirt and the item sitting next to me. I know more about the girl who sat next to me in 2nd grade than I probably do about my own children.
I know so, so much. Except anything even remotely related to advice for Texans starting a business.
But, I just can’t take it anymore. I refuse. I must disconnect, unwire, unplug, unwrap and detangle myself from this exploratory mission. But, can I? Can I really? Is that even an option.
No, but I can do one better. I can write a blog post and add to the traffic and clutter. I can stake out my own bit of bandwidth, uniquely mine. As I pass slowly beneath the surface and drown and become part of the barrage of data, waiting anxiously for the next passing victim of Google-cide.